


A candle of hope.

by Noah_Elton



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Growing Old, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Past Lives, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Sirius Black Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:06:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25251343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noah_Elton/pseuds/Noah_Elton
Summary: Whenever grief tries to steal the beauty of your memories, just remember.Love. Never. Dies.
Relationships: Andromeda Black Tonks/Ted Tonks, Remus Lupin/ Nymphadora Tonks - past relationship, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

_2nd May 1998_

The war had ended with the perish of the brave hearts that will always be remembered. The wind of freedom blew across the grounds of Hogwarts, the scent of victory with a tinge of iron gust across the faces of the survivors. As for the ones that sacrificed themselves, lay still. This day was to go down in history as the day the dark lord had been killed for good and peace and order had been restored back in the wizarding world. The eyes of the witches and wizards strayed around to see all their loved ones that had survived and grieved for ones they had lost. The Weasley's kneeling beside the corpse of a brave fighter, whose loss would forever leave them devastated. The muffled cries of George and Molly resonated as the others tightly held onto each other. Dennis Creevy at a distance could be seen cupping the cold stoned face of his brother, who regardless his young age fought like a true soldier. Nymphadora lay in peace with a soft smile on her face. Sirius placed a little flower behind her right ear and whispered,

_We have won Dora. Rest in peace_

He lifted the almost lifeless body of Remus and apparated them to St. Mungo's trying to heal the war wounds sprawled across his body. He was bleeding and the cuts were deep, but he'd survive. He felt a small tug in his stomach as he walked through the doors of St Mungo's.  
  
_Don't think too much. He is going to be alright._

They rushed him into a cubicle and started healing his cuts. They told him that it was going to take a while for him to regain consciousness and that he could go and inform the family. He halfheartedly turned towards to the Tonks' house. His journey was quite, unlike most he had been on in the past few years. He slowly knocked on their door. Ted Tonks opened the door to let Sirius in. No words were exchanged, but the message had been passed on.

_I'm sorry Dromeda._

Andromeda clutched onto her husband as tears filled in the couple's eyes. Their little girl was no more. He told them that she fought like a true warrior and prayed that her soul rests in peace. After what felt like hours, the family along with the newborn, who had lost a mother walked towards St Mungo's. Remus was still unconscious and in a very critical stage. 

_He has to_ _survive._ I _cannot let him die._

The faint cries of a baby drew Sirius out of his trance. He rocked Teddy Lupin back to sleep. They were all tired and could only hope that another life wasn't lost. They all sat still for the next few hours. The Tonks was still in a trauma unable to believe the news that had knocked on their door a few hours ago. The sun was almost up without a sign of reassurance, and their hope was starting to fade a little more by the second. 

_Please, Remus. You can't leave us. Please be alright._

A few more hours of restless waitings later a doctor walked out of the cubical. His eyes had said it all. He looked up at the family and tenderly smiled.

_He's gonna be alright._


	2. Chapter 2

**_5 years later..._ **

"Pads! Please wake Ted up and send him down for breakfast will you!", yelled Remus from across the house.

"Why am I the one who wakes him up!", whined Sirius. "You know he always gets cranky and starts throwing stuff at me!", he added with a pout. Remus looked Sirius, a crinkle forming in his eyes, "I know! It's the only entertainment I get all day!", he replied. 

"HEyY!"  
  
Remus just rolled his eyes in order to suppress a chuckle. "Please Pads! I have work to do over here.", he added dryly, still trying to hide his amusement.  
"UUGGHH! FIIINE! But you owe me big time LUPIN!", exaggerated Sirius, throwing his hands in the air in surrender.

He walked upstairs and looked at the little boy who was still asleep a smiling softly kissing his cheeks."RISEEE AND SHIINNNEEE Teddy boy! Your father's- OWW!", he howled as a book hit him right on his stomach.  
"Now come on little buddy! Breakfast is ready NO NOT THEALARMCLOCK!! OWWGODDAMNIT!!."  
"Alright, Ted! That's it!".

"Mmm. Uncle 5 more minu- AAAAaA!",Teddy whooped as two strong hands dragged him out of bed and hung him upside down, before flopping him down on his uncle's shoulder. Ted continued whining all the way down.  
" Morning Ted! GODSIRIUSPUTHIMDOWNPLEASE!", yelled Remus, when he saw his son almost dangling about in the air with firm hands secured around him.  
"Sleep well?" He cooed, buttering the toast and placing it down on his son's plate. "Mhm. I was before someone decided to drag me out of bed!" he replied, yawning and massaging his eyes with the back of his hand. The older men smiled at the little boy.

_That night:_

It was a tiresome day at work. Sirius flopped down in his mattress turning off his night light and looked around letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. He looked towards the other bed where Remus lay with his eyes closed, a slight crinkle in them which made Sirius' insides melt. The man looked so beautiful as he slept in his oversized jumpers, scars running around like the stroke of a paintbrush with a soft smile projecting on his face. 

_Should_ _I tell him..._

_It's too early..._

_It's been five years!_

_It doesn't matter. He loved her._

_And you love him..._

He fidgeted around still debating with himself, which he found himself doing on most nights. He was losing time. Who knows what lies in their fate. He can't just drop it without even trying.

_Face it Black! You can't replace her. He will always love her._

_He doesn't have to stop loving her..._

_You had your moment and you screwed it. Why do you expect him to say yes after what you did to him?!_

It was true. He had hurt Remus in a lot of ways. He was the reason James and Lily were dead and Remus was left alone to rot, and no matter what others said, he couldn't bring himself to think otherwise. Recalling what happened a long time ago his mind rolled back to that one memory that he so strongly regretted and also so fondly cherished.

_26 years back..._

_The common room was lit up with fairy lights as people bustled around celebrating their latest victory against Ravenclaw in the last quidditch. Firewhisky and butterbeer were being passed around and about half of the Gryffindor had already passed out. It was well past midnight and not one sober soul was in sight._  
_"Siriush", Remus slurred, placing his hand on the other boy's shoulder._  
_"Yeah, Moonsh.", Sirius lulled in response._  
_"Yer' drunk", the scarred boy giggled making little hearts with his fingers on the raven-haired boy's neck._  
_"Am not!", he retorted. " 'M ash sober ash I can be Moonpie."_  
_Remus buried his face in the crook of the other boy's neck. He smelt like the grass with a tinge of faded cologne. His pale neck exposed beneath him. When he looked up his eyed locked with the stormy grey ones. "Kish me", he mumbled and not more than a second later soft lips covered his own. Sirius' skin prickled as their lips picked a fervent rhythm. "You have no idea of how long I've waited for this", the sandy-haired boy whispered in his ear. When they broke apart Remus placed a quick chaste kiss on the other boy's cheek and rested his head on his shoulder, fingers playing with his hair._

_The next morning Sirius woke up earlier than the rest. The events of the previous night came rushing back into his mind. He got up and quickly paced back to his dorm. His head was throbbing from the hangover and from the horror of what he had done. He kissed a bloke. He can't be gay. Naturally, he couldn't help but avoided Remus for the rest of the day feeling SICK every time he so much as made eye contact with him. Days passed and he couldn't even bring himself to talk to him. This never should have happened. It would ruin everything. First his family and now the Marauders. He was going to lose them all._

_A few weeks later, as he had predicted he was confronted by the group. Remus took him to a corner, "Padfoot look at me. Please just look at me! We haven't spoken in weeks! What has happened to us?". Sirius looked at Remus with a sign of disbelief. "What happened?! You don't even remember, do you?!! I can't belie-"_  
_"Of course I remember what happened!", snapped the torn amber eyes, his voice slightly raised, tears starting to form at the corner of his eyes. "And I can clearly see that-"_  
_"I think it's best if we forget what happened that night". "I am not gay Moony. I can't be gay."_  
_"Oh". "If that's what you want Sirius-"_  
_"Yeah! That is what I want.", he snapped back interrupting the other boy mid-sentence._  
_"I need to go", said the scarred boy. Sirius felt something heavy drop in him. He reached out and tried to stop him,_  
_"Moon-", but he was gone._

Pads! Are you awake?!", whispered a hushed voiced bringing him back to reality.  
"Re! Why are you awa...Bad dream?", Sirius replied back in an equally hushed voice. "Nope just thinking."

Sirius sat up and after taking a moment to analyze the situation he walked over to the other man's bed.  
"What happened?", he asked with a hint of concern in his voice.   
"Oh...its.."  
"Please don't dodge the question Re! I know there is something that's bothering you."  
"I...Ted." he finally replied, with an edge of uncertainty.  
"Our little mischief-maker? What did that little monster do now?", he replied with a smug grin on his face.  
Remus smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes like it did when his smile was genuine.  
"I...The other day when he came back from school...he was talking about how the other kids _you know.._ have their Mum's tuck them in bed, and how happy they get every time they crack a joke that makes their mothers smile. It just...broke my heart a little to see _my baby_...", he felt the man's voice break a little.  
"Oh Moony!", he said, scooting closer and wrapped his arms around him, rubbing his back in order to comfort the other man. It worked as the breathing pace of the man smoothened.   
"I'm sorry. I just miss it all so much."  
They silently lay together in the dark for while with Remus' head tucked under Sirius' chin.  
"Moons"  
"Mhm"  
Sirius slowly sits up and looks at the other boy in the eyes. "I know this isn't the best time to say this... but I want you to know that no matter what happens I will always be here for the both of you because I love Teddy..."  
"But?...that sentence sounded like it had a but-"  
" AND I love you"  
Remus sat up and looks into those grey eyes as they unveiled promises and vulnerability.  
"Re, It's true that I don't know what it's like to stand where you stand. I know life hasn't been the kindest to you and Teddy. I know that no one in the world can replace her, but I also know I'd give everything I have to try and fill a part of that void if you only just give me a chance."   
Every word that fell from those lips meant something. It almost sounded desperate, but he didn't want to cover the desperation up. He wanted the message to be delivered the way it was meant to be heard. Raw and unhindered.  
"Sirius?! I thought you...please tell me you meant that."  
"Every word of it."  
He reached out and gently cupped the other man's face as Sirius leaned into the touch. Every crease and scar left on the face with time reflected nothing but sincerity. He softly placed a kiss right between the other man's eyebrow, nose and finally lips. It was both soft and firm at the same time. It was as if at that moment all the broken pieces of his life fell right in place. 

_I love you too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter. If you did then then please leave a kudos or a comment. Also, my grammar isn't very good, so if you find any errors please let me know in the comments section. Thank you for reading. <3


	3. Chapter 3

_The next morning_...

"Alright..time for Teddy to wake up!"  
"Do _I_ have to wake him up again?", asked Sirius looking up at him with his beady eyes. He knew this wasn't a question. It was a request.

What happened last night could be counted as one of the best moments of his life, but the thought of Teddy looking up at him with disgust or disapproval made him feel weak. He knew he had a few attempts to this, and with every attempt, his chances of making Teddy approve him and Sirius only got slimmer.  
" Please Pads?!", he requested. He knew he had to face it, but for now, a little delay is all he asked for.  
Moments later Sirius returned back with his hair completely messed up and a gleaming Teddy swinging along his arm.  
He laughed to himself as he imagined a younger Sirius pouting and throwing a tantrum about how bad his hair looks.  
"Sleep well?" He asked his son, serving him with breakfast and a cup of hot cocoa.  
"Uh-huh! Sleep good!", replied Teddy already reaching out for the hot cocoa.

When Teddy was done with his breakfast and was about to get up Remus started, "Ted we need to talk to you abo-", " _B-but!_ He punched me first !!! I swear I wasn't the one who started it! Please don't ground me!", he whined.  
"PUNCHED YOU!!?", exclaimed the two older men at the same time.

Teddy suspiciously glared at the two of them. "You didn't want to speak to me about that? What else did I do?!".   
"No, that is not what I was going to talk about, but now I want to hear what happened!"   
"Damnit", muttered Teddy.  
"Language!! _Jeez_! Padfoot you need to _stop_ swearing in front of him!".  
Sirius just chucked at the established father and son post-breakfast argument routine. "Now now Re...we don't want to go too hard on him do we?!"  
"Fine..then why don't you tell him yourself!"  
"Umm..."  
"Thought so!"  
" _Tell me what!_?", cried the little boy, his hair turning red from desperation.  
"Alright...Umm Ted?!"  
"Yeah?"  
After a brief silence, Remus spoke, taking his time to choose the right words.  
"I'm seeing someone.", asserted Remus, with a heavy uncertainty in his voice.  
Teddy looked up and Remus scanned his boy's eyes for a sign of disgust, but what he saw wasn't disapproval. It was hope.  
"Who??!!..", called Ted, trying his best to sound casual.  
"Do I...Do I know her Daddy?"  
Sirius scoffed, later covering it with a cough, trying to hide the amusement on his face.

 _Wow! This could be interesting!_  
  
"You do....know him.", said Remus, adding a very tender edge to his voice as he said the last word.  
"Oh"  
"Is that alright with you Ted?", asked the father, as if he was expecting his son to burst any moment now.  
"Do you love him, Daddy?"  
Remus looked at Sirius for a brief moment, before blinking away, "Very much".

Ted smiled, the end of his lips curving up and a small grin taking its place.  
"Can I meet him? Pleeeaase!", asked the little boy still smiling.  
"Um..actually, he is right here.", said Remus, overwhelmed by the unexpected smile playing on his son's face.  
Ted turned around, looking around for the mystery man and spun back to face Sirius in confusion. "I don't see anyone..", he said with a small frown. "Uncle please tell him to come out! I want to meet him!!!! ". Sirius looked at Remus and turned back towards Ted and smiled. "Wait here and let me get him for you", he said." And close your eyes! When he comes, he will wrap a hand around your finger and you'll know that he is here. Alright?!"  
"Alright!!", squeaked Teddy, his smile getting wider by the second.  
A few seconds later Ted felt a hand wrap around his index finger. He opened his eyes to look at the grey eyes of his Uncle.  
"Where...oh"

_Oh_

" Ted! Is this okay with you?", asked Sirius, his voice barely over a whisper. Teddy remained quiet for about a minute trying to digest what just happened. The men were begun to look at the boy in distress due to the lack of an answer. After a few more moments of silence, Teddy stepped forward and flung his arms around Sirius hugging his waist.  
"Your the best Step Father anyone could have ever asked for..Dad.".

 _Two months later._..

It had only been a short time since the two had started seeing each other, but for both men, it somehow felt like they've had each other for an eternity. 

One evening when Remus came back home from work he opened door to a candlelit path leading to the balcony. It was a new moon and the city had blacked out. He walked over to the balcony and looked around. He looked at the starry sky that was lit up due to the lack of lightings in the city. He felt a warm tingle in his back and looked down to realize he was surrounded by at least a hundred candles placed everywhere except in a small region forming a heart. There in the middle of the heart stood Sirius wearing a black suit. Remus held his gaze and walked towards him. 

"The sky looks beautiful today doesn't it?" "Pads why are you wearing a suit and what is.."  
Sirius smiled, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. His lip was starting to tremble a bit.  
" Sirius! _Darling_... are you alright?", he whispered, his voice as sweet as a lullaby.  
He saw Sirius reach into his back pocket, his hand slightly trembling as he knelt down on one knee.

_Three months later..._

The sky was painted orange and the place was packed with wizards they had made acquaintance with from over the years. A few seats were left empty for the ones who couldn't make it this far in life. There was one left out for Regulas, another two for James and Lily, and so the list continued. The couple stood midst two long vines spreading its branches to make an archway above them, bearing at least a hundred golden and white flowers hanging like fragile dew drops.  
Remus wasn't willing to throw a big party and wanted to go for something much simpler, but Sirius insisted that their marriage be one of the most beautiful evenings of their life.

"And now. By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you a newly married couple."  
"You may now kiss the groom."  
Remus looked into the grey orbs of the man he loved with everything he had. For a fraction of second, he saw James standing beside Sirius smiling like a complete dork. Lily sitting amongst the crowds applauding and cheering so loudly people had to almost kick her out of the ceremony. He saw the silhouette of his Nymphadora, the woman who he will always love nodding in approval. He looked at his son who only smiled in response. He felt the spike of adrenaline in his nerves as he cupped Sirius' face and placed a soft kiss on his lips.  
The crowd roared with applause as Remus lifted Padfoot up, one arm hooked under his knee and the other supporting his back and carried him all the way home.

_Six years later..._

_"IT'S HERE! DADDY IS SO PROUD OF YOU TED!"_  
Teddy ran down, almost tripping over the staircase, "Where?!". The couple proudly handed over the letter too him. Ted tore the envelope opening it in such a haste that he almost tore the letter itself. They walked over and gave him a peck in the cheek each. He carefully read the letter with beady eyes.  
"So it's true then", he said, almost sounding disappointed.   
"What happened?! Everything okay sweetie?", Remus whispered.  
"I'd have to go there all alone wouldn't I?" "Aww...honeypie. Come here." Both men pulled the little boy into a tight embrace. "We will write to you everyday alright?! And you can come to visit us during winter breaks!"   
Sirius sniffled wiping his nose with the material of Teddy's shirt.  
"Eww No! DAD! I just wore this shirt two minutes ago" he whined as all three men broke into a fit of laughter. 

_Three years later..._

It was a fine morning in Edinburgh, the soft breeze playing with the petals of the garden daisies. The three boys lay on the sheet, Teddy snuggled between them and fast asleep. Sirius toyed around with the grass, looking at the clouds above, visualizing various bits and bobs from the shape of the visible condensed vapour. The summer holidays had just started and Teddy had come home from Hogwarts. It was a Sunday and the three had decided to spend the day lazing around on the top a nearby hill. The sun rays peered from between the leaves of the tree which stood tall behind them providing them with the adequate shade to have their perfect slothful Sunday. The three talked about the people Teddy had bonded over with at school while Sirius suggested a few ideas for pranks that he could pull with a half-heartedly disapproving Remus. It was a rather uneventful yet pleasant evening for the two men as they sat together and recalled their old memories. 

_20 years later..._

The sound of a muffled cough filled the atmosphere of the old house. "Have you taken your pills dear?", said a rugged deep voice from the other side of the bed. Remus reached out for the tissue box and handed it over to Sirius, who otherwise quietly laid on his bed. Sirius' violent coughs and the clanking of vessels were the only sounds that echoed these days. He had become unusually quiet and barely ever spoke. Even though he'd always be the first to wake up, he never spoke. He just silently laid awake on his bed. Teddy had come over to pay them a visit, but on most days stayed quietly shut in his old bedroom. He and his wife have moved to London a few years ago after they got married.   
Sirius crumbled up his used tissue and tossed in on his side of the bed, too tired to even open his eyes and look at the tormented piece of paper. Remus walked up to Sirius handing him two pills and a glass of water, which Sirius wordlessly took. He sank back into his bedding and soon fell asleep. A few hours later Remus returned back to clear the litter around the older man's bed. He picked the used tissues and tossed them into the dustbin when he suddenly spotted a stain. He bent over and picked the piece of paper. It was covered with small splatters of red spots. He felt his heart skip a beat, but before he could analyze what he just saw he tossed the paper back into the basket of dirt.

In the evening Teddy came out to help with the usual chores, but instead of a dining set, he found his father sitting by the bedside with his head bowed down. He softly placed a hand on his father's shoulder. "Everything alright?", he asked. "We need to take Sirius to St. Mungo's", replied Remus. Every word that slipped felt sinfully heavy before the strong hands of his son pulled him into an embrace. The family had a quiet dinner and as usual, no conversations were made. Remus helped Sirius drink the soup, lightly blowing it before bringing it up to his husband's lips. Everything hurt. So much.

_The next morning..._

"If he's lucky he may survive the spring", said the doctor.  
"There must be something you can do. What use is magic if you can't even heal simple body parts!"   
"I am truly sorry sir, but no spell in the world can heal the scars left by time itself. There is nothing I can do to help you. My deepest apologies. "  
Teddy opened the door to face a torn man, who looked like his heart had just been ripped out of his chest. Teddy cursed the hearing senses of the wolf and placed a hand on his father's heart. Then they silently made their way home. 

Sirius was old, but his mind still gambled with the energy of a three-year-old. It took him one glance to understand where the two men had been this morning and what news they had received. He had seen it coming himself for a while now and didn't know what he could do about it. So he lay down, deep in thought and spent his days looking at his beautifully aged husband frolicking around the house. Day after day he grew weaker, more helpless and dependent on the ones he loved. It hurt to keep carrying the burden of life, but he wanted to live for a few more moments before it all ended. Every night before Remus slept, he'd pray that his lover survived the night and he'd still see a glint of mystery and playfulness in those stormy grey orbs when he woke up because the only thing he could do was pray.  
  
One night, now that the news was out in the open, he called the two men over for a talk. It had been the first time in months since Sirius himself wanted to initiate a conversation. "Moonpie! Teddy! why do you look so sad!", he whispered, his voice worn out and hoarse from the lack of use. "We're not", lied Remus, softly squeezing Sirius' hand, the other palm placed on his husband's chest.   
"Do you remember that time when I flew away with a hippogriff while the ministry was still trying to find me?". "Of course I remember love", murmured Remus with a faded smile on his face. "That day, when I parted from Harry and his folks, before leaving I told young Harry that 'The one's who we love never really leave us; You can always find them in here' he said placing a hand on his son's heart. "Now when I am gone I don't want any tears to be shed. I want you both to remember me and smile, remember all the dirty pranks we played on Snivellous and those times I messed up so bad you could have eaten my up alive." Both men laughed a pleasant chuckle. Sirius brought his hand up to cup his husband's face and wiped the dampness off it. He placed a soft kiss on bothering their foreheads and sunk back low when his breath began to hitch and his body weakened. The men sat together making conversation in the room where dinner had been served. They turned on the radio and Remus and Teddy danced together, while Sirius watched the two men sway their hips to the music.

_When the night has come and the land is dark_   
_And the moon is the only light we'll see_

They let the music lighten their hearts for them and for that one moment everything was alright.

_No, I won't be afraid. Oh, I won't be afraid_   
_Just as long as you stand, stand by me_

_So darling, darling stand by me, oh stand by me_   
_Oh stand, stand by me_   
_Stand by me._

_______

The next morning when Remus went over to greet Sirius, he wasn't awake. He just lay there cold, still and lifeless.


	4. Chapter 4

_Death is inevitable_

The bitter truth of life that no one is prepared for until it strikes them. You can see it happening, you know it's going to happen; it's like you can sense its presence, and only pray for a delay because you know it isn't going away.

They say the longer you live, the harder life becomes and the thicker your skin gets. 

_The good die young._

A line so perfectly reasonable, as life saves them from so much grief and pain that were to gradually unfold, had they lived. At certain moments I pray to differ, as those moments make life worth living, but for now, I find myself held captive, yet again in the familiar abyss of grief.

The past they say is as true as the fantasies that we have only dared to imagine, as it all comes down to the ghostly visions of one's mind. The photos taken in the past are merely equivalent to the works of an artist. But the pain that lingers as you try to carry on is the only scar that makes the past a reality.

As I flick through the pages of our photo albums, with pictures from events so old I can't even recall them anymore, I clutch a few of these reminders close to my heart to soothe the tight clench in my chest... but it doesn't unfurl. The muscle only clenches up furthermore.

My fingers graze across a photo. Your eyes crinkle from behind the lamination, and your face playfully lits up and your lips curve into a graceful smile.

_27th March 1974_  
_Happy Birthday Jamie boy XXX_

" _Happy birthday!!!!", they all yelled as they pulled out their gifts, piling them one on top of the other. Peter placed the candles on the cake and Sirius lighted all 14 of them up with a quick 'Incendio' burning half the cake down instead._  
_"God Padfoot! Why don't you just use the matchsticks I brought for events like such!!", said Remus looking both worn out and used to such foolishness._  
_They tried to fix it, as Peter aqamentia'd the burned part, ruining it furthermore. Remus finally, cut the burnt part off and lighted the remaining six candles with the matchstick, as they continued to celebrate the event._  
  
_Finally, when the unburnt part of the cake was over and the presents had been opened, everyone went back and settled down on their own four-poster beds. "So James! Got any pending wishes from last year's birthday that weren't fulfilled?", asked Sirius, trying to make small talk to try and ignore the snores of an already asleep Peter. James scowled and uttered something incomprehensible and gave the others a 'yeh...whatever' look and turned towards the wall. "Mate, Are you....alright?", asked Sirius now truly looking concerned about his best friend._  
_The boy with the messy hair looked back at his friend before facing the wall again, "Its just...in first year, I had thought that by the time I hit 13 I'd have sorted Lily out and I would have had my first...you know..."_  
_"Kiss?", prompted Sirius with a mischievous grin lighting his face._  
_"Aww! Ickle Jamei boy has never kissed a bird!!!", said Sirius in a comically high pitched squeak as James smacked him in the arm and pushed him off his bed._  
_"I can help you with that you know..", replied Sirius, getting back up and sitting beside James, with a huge grin smeared across his face._  
_" HOW?! I have tried everything but Lil- Mmph!"_  
_Sirius crashed his lips into James', pressing his face close to other boys as the startled, wide-eyed brunette tried to push him away._  
_"Uugh! Dis-GUSTING Padfoot!", exclaimed the messy-haired boy vigorously rubbing the back of his hand against his lips._  
_"God I should have known it was one of your stupid ideas-uuggh! I need to rinse my whole body with holy water now! Can't believe a dog like you were my first kiss!"_  
_Remus and Sirius just continued to howl with laughter and looking at the perfectly timed picture that Remus took from the camera he had borrowed from Lily._

A small smile formed on my face as I continued to flip through the album. There were photos from every single one of the pranks we had pulled at Hogwarts, there were pictures from James and Lily's marriage. There was this one picture of Sirius and James giving Harry and Lily horseback ride's in the Potter's lawn and, with little Harry uncontrollably laughing and dangling about Sirius, barely managing to not fall off. As I was riffing through the pages, this one picture particularly caught my eye.

_October 28th 1996_  
_Twelve Grimmauld Place_

_It was a picture of the order members, well the ones that had survived. Sirius had placed his arms around Harry, squeezing a smile out of him, with Remus on the other side smiling as he looked at the two men._

_"Um...Sirius"_

_"Yeah"_

_"Thanks"_

_The man with dark long hair smiled at his godson, firmly gripping other boys shoulder._

**_I'll protect you, Harry. I promise._ **

_The previous night..._

_"Harry!"_

_The pale boy woke up with a start, his breath hitched and rapid. Concerned grey eyes looked into the green ones filled with fear and anxiety. Harry took a long inhale in an attempt to hold himself together. His entire body was shaking so hard, it looked like he was about to shatter into pieces._

_Remus looked at the boy trying to find words of consolation, but he could think of none._

_"Harry", he whispered_

_The boys breathing further hitched as he completely broke down and started sobbing, his cries were loud, screaming for help. Sirius pulled the young boy into an embrace._

_"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! Why did I not die! If someone were to die it should have been me! The Dursley's were right...I-"_

_"Sshh Harry....Don't say that. Don't you ever say anything like that ever again. We love you. We all do, and don't you ever doubt that again!", lulled Remus, his voice calm and curing._

_"It's all right Harry. We've got you. You're safe here"_

_The older men repeatedly chanted these words into the boy's ears as if his life depended on it._  
_After what felt like hours, the boy's breathing shallowed down a little. His tensed muscles relaxed into his God father's arms. The room was silent except for the sounds of uneven sharp breaths from the three men. Sirius pulled back, just enough for him to make eye contact with the young boy. He placed a tender hand behind Harry's head, and whispered, "If you want to talk about it Harry, we're right here"_

_Harry looked away, his eyes were hesitant and uncertain. He took another deep inhale and moved away. He sat still for a moment, still in deep thought, before bringing a hand to his collar as he slowly started to peel off his shirt. The two men looked at the young boy, their eyes wide with horror and shock. His body was filled with slurs, deeply engraved into his mutilated skin._

**_Lier_ **

**_Worthless_ **

**_Hated_ **

**_Pathetic_ **

**_Nobody_ **

_And a much deeper scar on his right hand that read_

_**I must not tell lies**._

_Some scars still sat new, as if they'd been freshly ripped into his skin. Harry could hear muffled sobs as he slumped down on the ground, his head hanging with shame. He pulled his hand up, trying to cover up his exposed body. He slowly looked up, his vision still blurred, but he could make out Remus strongly clutching onto Sirius as the other man cried into the crook of his neck._

_Sirius, his eyes rimmed red, reached out for Harry and held him close, as Remus helped him put the shirt back on._

_"Who did this!", he growled, his voice venomous with anger. Harry looked down, unable to lock eyes. The memories from his detention flooded back into his mind, stabbing him as he tried to form the words._

_"Umbridge", he mumbled._

_"She is gonna pay for this", snarled Sirius, his voice shaking with rage._

_Sirius held Harry close to him, as Remus supportingly rubbed a gentle hand on his back for hours, until all three men, curled up into each other and fell asleep._

**_I'm with you, Harry. I'll protect you._ **

  
_**I promise**._

I felt the tension in me starting to cease as I continued to flip my way through our album. It was both overwhelming and painful as the reminders of the beautiful person I so fondly loved smiled back at me through a mere pictorial representation of himself. 

My fingers stopped when I saw a photo and my memories jogged back to the day it was taken. The background was gloomy, and there stood the dark-haired man, with his eyes closed, holding Teddy in his arms, with the infant's head peacefully rested on the man's shoulder, almost as if, that was where it belonged. 

_4th September 1998._

_"Remus, why are you not in your bed?! You can't be walking in a condition like this!", said Sirius as he guided Remus back to his room. The last moon had been very aggressive on the werewolf, leaving parts of his flesh completely shredded. His bones were not in a bad condition, but Remus was in no stage to walk yet. "But I wan' Teddy!", whined Remus in a soft sleepy voice._  
_"Wait here! I'll get him for you", replied Sirius as he tucked the other man back in his bed. He jogged upstairs and brought the infant back, who was still thankfully asleep. Sirius lightly rocked the baby, as he walked towards the father, drew a chair near Remus' bed out and sat down next to him. The freckled man reached out to hold his son, but his hands were batted away, "Uh Uh! You'll wake him up", whispered Sirius as he continued to cradle the baby in his arms._

_" **Uh Uh! You'll wake him up", whispered a softer, more familiar feminine voice in his head.**_

**_Dora_ **

_He looked back at Sirius, looking at Teddy, his eyes crinkling just the way Dora's did when she first held Teddy in her arms. The same soft smile that he saw on Dora's face when Teddy curled his hand around her fingers. Between being a vivid reminiscence of the past and a reminder of all the light still left in his life it was one of those few beautiful moments Remus never wanted to forget._  
  
"Dad! Dinners ready!"

An abrupt voice from the other room cut his thoughts off, bringing him back to the present as he flipped the book close and pushed it back into a dark corner like all the dreadful memories of his life, hoping to never come across it again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Teddy's POV.**

It was one of those evenings where the silence would reach peck levels of discomfort, stabbing daggers into those exposed to it. 

He was gone. He truly was. 

Memories from when I was little came crashing back in my head, for that was the only place where I could still have him with me. It hurt to know that I will never see him again. Never have him carding his fingers through my hair again, the way he did in those memories. 

How could this even be true? I-

Was as at loss of words. Unable to absorb the turn that our lives had taken. But then again, will I ever be able to?

My body was begging for me to let the pain loose and break down, but the man in the other room needed me, for the old wasted facade was slipping off. The tears that were once tamed in and in control were now streaming down unashamed. Nothing mattered to him. 

And it hurt. 

To see the strongest man you have ever known, break down, right in front of you, not even bothering to hide it. I knew there was a reason father never cried in front of me. It was only when I had my own children, did I understand why. I couldn't see him like this, and I couldn't see him moving past this either. 

I walked to the door and stood by it, looking at the old man anxiously wandering about the hall when he abruptly stopped, walked back to his room and sat down. I followed him and sat down at the corner of his bed. He was facing the wall, looking at the bland surface, unwilling to look into my eyes. His breath hitched, with a low hiccup like sound, and I consolingly squeezed his shoulder. His heart had been shredded into pieces, and I didn't know what I could do. I was never the strong one, never good at handling pain. That was Sirius' part. 

_Now what do I do?_

The phone rang, and he reluctantly picked it up after a few rings and spoke with a relatively stable voice, gesturing for me to leave when I kept a consoling arm on him back. So I left. The pain breaking loose inside me. And I silently cried. 

_________

2:30 am

I hadn't been able to sleep for a week now, constantly twisting and turning around in my bed, waiting for even the slightest wave of unconsciousness to hit me. The other man was awake too, in a state far worse than mine, which only made it so much harder for me. 

_Why did you have to leave us Dad?_   
_You'd promised you'd be there whenever we needed you. Where are you now?_

I quietly tiptoed to my door, the man in front of me, holding the portrait he had drawn of his husband before one of his transformations. He placed the pad of his thumb on Sirius' cheek, brushing it with a soft tenderness. It was a lonely night, and I still wasn't sure if I should walk over, or let him think that I am asleep. Would me noticing him in such a state only aggravate the pain? His cries got louder, as he settled down on the nearest mattress. His mask had ripped off. To him, it wouldn't matter if he was surrounded by a hundred strangers. He wouldn't bother to put on that mask of strength, and the only thing that kept me from tearing up was the thought that one of us needs to be the strong one. 

_______

_Next morning_.

I was rummaging through my cupboard searching for the documents the ministry had asked for when I came across a book I hadn't seen in years. I pulled it out and dusted its covers. Remus sat down beside me looking at the book, his eyebrow raised in question.

"He used to read it to me every night", I plainly stated, handing the book over to him. His fingertips felt the corners of the book, sliding it along the length as if he was trying to feel the ghost of the man whose hands once held the book. He held it for a few more moments, examining the book, his fingers running out and across every word embossed into the leather before he passed it back to me.

"Read to me", he said. That was the first time he had spoken to me, with his eyes looking into the depths of mine. I gave him a short nod and flipped the book open as he settled down with his head in my lap, still looking into my eyes, as I started reading.

_"There was once a boy, named Ranulf in the city of Armagh, who lived with his little family of three. He'd always wanted a brother, but his family told him that they couldn't afford another baby._   
  
_"He would spend his days frolicking around in the city, admiring the beautiful scenery, or walking in the market looking at objects he could never own. He had befriended another local boy named Al Shira, who would often join him during the day and later part ways by night. Ranulf had never met Al's family nor did he know where Al lived. It was only during the day time when Runalf would walk past the market place, he would meet Al and spend the day wandering about in the city with him._

_One afternoon Ranulf took Al home and introduced the boy to his family. They treated him well and offered him food and water, which he willingly took. Days went by and the boys became inseparable. It had become a routine for them to meet at the market's crossroad and spend the rest of the day teasing, chit-chatting, or pranking each other. They became well known in the streets, having small talks with shop vendors and as they passed by._

_The days flew and years passed. Runalf still never met Al's family and although he never questioned it, he was still very curious. Runalf grew up and became a well-settled teacher in an elementary school. One evening, when it was time for the two to part ways, Runalf hid behind the bushes until Al left for his house. He knew that it wasn't right for him to do so, but his curiosity took the better of him. He followed the boy, across the vast fields and past the glistening brooks, until he came to a stop near the shore of a river and lay down on his back. After a few more moments of silence he spoke, "Are you going to come out or not?", he asked as he turned towards Runalf, giving him a small smirk. Runalf quietly walked out from behind a tree and settled down beside his friend._   
_"Sorry. I shouldn't have. I just wanted to know, and I wasn't sure if I could ask-"_

_"Roo you can ask me anything! You don't have to hide from me!"_

_Runalf looked at Al, still a bit upset for letting himself slip up._

_"Is this where you go every night?"_

_"This Roo is my home. This is where I live. Right here, under all the millions of stars shining on me."_

_"But why didn't you ever tell me?"_

_"You never asked.", Al shrugged._

_Runalf smiled, before flopping down on the grass alongside Al. He looked up, millions of small heavenly bodies twinkling across the night sky._

_"I sometimes wonder what their story is", whispered Al, looking at Runalf._

_"Story?"_

_"They say that once a person is gone, a part of their soul escapes their body and takes its place among all the million stars up there", responded Al._

_"Al..."_

_"Mmhm"_

_"Why don't you live with your family?", asked Runalf, a part of him curious but still unsure if he should bring this up. He knew that Al wouldn't choose to live away from the one's he loved. Then why was it that he lived here all alone?_

_Al gave Runalf a small smile, "I used to live with my parents and my little brother, Canis. One day my father took me to the shore of this river and told me to wait, for he had to run some errands and would be back in a few minutes._

_So I waited._

_And waited._

_But he never returned._

_A few hours later when I walked back home, I found out that my family had taken off to another city. To this day I wait here, in hope that one day they will return, or that maybe, someone would come to check on me."_

_Runalf felt sorry for Al and decided to take the other boy under his wing. He asked him to move in with him, to which Al was a bit reluctant and first, but he realized that he was waiting for something that would never happen._

_The two men soon fell in love and on the night of a new moon, when the stars shined the brightest they got married. They vowed to be there for one another and never leave each others side until death parted them._

_They raised their kids together and grew old, hand in hand, though their eyes still sparkled like they did when they looked at each other for the very first time._

_But just like any other story, this was the story of life. It ended at the same point from where it had begun. Built-up and fallen right back into nothingness._

_One day, an angel approached Al. She told him that the heavens have summoned him and his time to part from the ones he loves had come. She told him that his time here on earth is about to come to an end that he had to take his place among the stars. He knew it was true, as he could feel his soul departing. He called his family and bid farewell. He told his son and husband he loved them very much but his body was tired and he needed to rest. He reminded them he would always be there with them, in their hearts. He told them to smile every time they thought about him and that his soul is going look after them from a place so high that they would be able to spot him no matter where they were. All they had to do was look up and wish upon the stars and he would be right their. For now he needed to go on a long nap and he hoped they would see each other again one day. Till then, the guardian of his soul is going to look after them. And with that he closed his eyes forever."_

**_The end._ **

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy! Hope you liked the the first part. I would be posting the next chapter in maybe two to three days. I know my grammar isn't the best so please let me know if you find any errors that I could correct. Thank you. <3


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